Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Randomize
