Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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