Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
