The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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