But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
