What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
