there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
