Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
