The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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