I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Girls should come with a carfax report
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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