You're completely useless in the revolution.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Randomize
