he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
