I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
