Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
