She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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