You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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