so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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