this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
