so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
