from now on my penis is your penis
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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