i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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