u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
