So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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