I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
