So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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