You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
