Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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