i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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