Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
