i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I look better un-naked...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
as a side note pls kill me
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
