does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
