4 words: hood of his car
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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