God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
