he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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