AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
