Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i just google imaged poop.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I will pee on everything he values.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
