listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
