His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
