but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
