i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Randomize
