She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
