All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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