Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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