i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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