We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
