I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
