I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
