What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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