we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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