I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
