Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
