as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize