Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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