i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
don't judge my taste in strippers
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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