i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
