Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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