would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
