I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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