I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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