wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
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