He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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