i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
We need to get me chipped asap
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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