K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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