Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
