I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
...so i touched it.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
