So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
