Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
